"To live is the rarest thing in the world."

The other day, I was at work on Etsy looking for affirmation stones. When someone graduates from one of our mental health programs, instead of getting a "coin out" like you would at a substance use facility, we give them an affirmation stone with a positive word on it for them to take with them on their journey in recovery. Anyways, you wouldn't believe all the miscellaneous random things that come up when you search the shops for affirmation stones; word stones, positive stones, worry stones, river rocks, and all the other possibilities that the search for these types of stones could possibly come up as. As I was aimlessly searching for this very specific set of stones I had previously bought… (and I know you Etsy shoppers are thinking, why not just go to your previous orders- the link wasn't working 😐), I came across a quote that for some reason struck me harder than I realized, because here I am, several days later, writing about it. "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." – Oscar Wilde.

When I read that, it didn't impact me. But I found myself pondering that quote repeatedly, even days later. So much so that I searched for it to make sure I remembered what it said accurately. Why does this quote strike me so hard? Am I someone who is just existing in the world like it references so many people who do? I, as many do, have a daily routine that I follow. Wake up, shower, get ready, get the kids ready, breakfast, school drop-offs, drive to work, work, drive home, pick up the kids, prepare dinner and school lunches, bath time, watch TV, do some work, get ready for bed aimlessly scroll on my phone, sleep. Repeat. Rarely do I do anything outside of that routine.

Sure, the day-to-day specifics can be different within that routine- but this goes back to those pondering thoughts and existential questions I have so often. What am I doing with my life? Am I fulfilling my true-life purpose? Am I satisfied with where I am and what I am doing? Am I truly happy in this moment? I can't answer those questions. Can other people? Am I the only one that sometimes thinks this way? I'd like to believe I am not. I sincerely and wholeheartedly want to be able to say yes 100% to some, if not all of those questions. I don't think I am the only one who probably wonders or thinks I probably do just exist. Honestly, I never thought about it this way, and when I do, I don't like that feeling. I want to live. I want to be excited. I want to have fire, passion, and excitement in everything- in anything, really. It's not to say that I don't enjoy my job or love my family. Sure, I have nice things. But am I just going through the motions? Which is what I think this quote is getting at the root of. 

But here's the actual question- am I missing the mark? Or am I just not mindful enough to realize the world around me. Positive psychology and mindfulness teach us to be aware of the present moment, encourage acceptance and awareness, remind us to stop getting stuck in the negative thought patterns or the rumination cycles, have self-compassion and appreciation for self and others, and have gratitude. This is where I would like to inspire Hope. I think this is where those who say we might just be "existing" in the world may be missing the mark. I don't know if we really need to changeanything. Some people in my circle tell me I am one of the busiest people they know. And if they are reading this, they probably think, "Well, sure, change what you are doing, or be more present in your life." However, I know I do a lot. But I don't think I need to stop or change what I do. I'm not just discussing spending more time with someone or more timedoing or not doing something. I think this is the feeling, awareness, and attunement of doing it. Our minds presence and focus in what we are doing. In that same sentence, sometimes, we get stuck in our comfort zone. We don't make choices or changes we know we should or sometimes need to make because we are stuck in these routines. Why challenge the system if we are comfortable or fearful?

In that same shopping adventure, I saw the Oscar Wilde quote I saw this quote from Christopher Columbus: "You can never cross the ocean unless you dare to lose sight of the shore." For some of us, we need to learn to turn off all the distractions and be more present, and for some of us, it is taking the leap of faith to make a change to better exist in our present world. Finding meaning in the everyday routine can sometimes be challenging. Still, for many of us, it can also be where the most meaningful moments emerge. As for hope, it doesn't always have to be tied to grand, life-altering events—it can be found in daily life's minor, seemingly mundane aspects. Some ways to cultivate meaning and hope and practice existing rather than merely just living daily could be embracing small wins, practicing gratitude, creating meaningful rituals, finding connection with others, allowing yourself rest, looking for beauty even in the ordinary, focusing on growth, reframing challenges, living with intention, and reflecting on progress. Like Hope, like everything else, existence can grow and evolve over time. Start noticing it in the smallest parts of your day; you might find it more present than you thought.